Religious Humor

Top Ten Things That Would Be Different if the 12 Apostles Had Been Gay

  • The Last Supper would have been brunch.
  • The Beatitudes would start, “Fabulous are they….”
  • Jesus’ triumphant entry in Jerusalem screams for a production number, with ostrich feather palm fronds and a large oyster shell instead of just a donkey.
  • The water at the wedding feast of Canaan would not have been changed to wine, but extra dry Bombay Sapphire martinis with a touch of Curacao for color.
  • The Temple would not only have been cleansed of money changers, but redecorated as well.
  • Mary’s hair would have been flawless.
  • The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Lance and Bruce.
  • Priest would have torrid affairs with alter boys…wait…never mind.
  • Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day.
  • The Sermon the the Mount would have been a musical