It’s the Year of the Rat again. I’m a rat in Chinese astrology - born in 1972. I don’t know how I feel about it, really.

The last year of the rat was 1996. That was the year that my life changed drastically.

The year started with the murder of my second step-cousin. She had been one of the few people that I honestly liked in my step-father’s family and the world lost a wonderful person when she was killed. I fell into a deep depression that caused me to earn my first ‘F’ and flunk an entire course in college.

However, I got that F because instead of going to class I turned to my friends, who I loved dearly. They took my mind off of it all and I felt happy when I was with them. The only things I cared about were my friends and band.

That summer, after finishing college (almost) I lost my job and had to move back in with my parents which was two hours away. It was the last time I had a group of friends that I ‘hung out’ with on a regular basis. I almost immediately started losing those friends. Looking back, I’m not really sure how many of those people really were my friends. The depression could often be manic and my moods were extremely unpredictable. I wasn’t all that fun to be around and I think some of them might have been humoring me. I don’t really blame them for not wanting to be around me much. I just would have appreciated honestly over patronization.

(patronization…is that a word?)

So, it was a bad time for me between June and July. I had been living on my own or with a roommate all through college and moving back in with my mother and step-father…yeesh.

But, that was also the year that I started working at the Humane Society and I met my best girl-friend Sorina. If I hadn’t had to make that move I would have never met her and that is something I just can not even bear to think about.

I loved that job. It has been the only job that I felt was perfect. My co-workers were great people who cared about what they were doing. Our boss was firm, fair and knew how to have fun. She was able to be our friend and our boss at the same time and she got great work out of her employees.  I enjoyed the actual work and would sometimes come by on my days off just to see people. And if they needed help, I had no problem doing so, even if I wouldn’t get paid for it.

It all crashed and burned about a year later. The Board of Directors ruined it all. God, those women were such over-zealous, micro-managing, over-sensitive, meddling bitches. (Not all of them - but enough to cause problems.) If I got one thing from my mother it’s my ability to hold a grudge and I still haven’t forgiven them for what they did. I swore never to work for any organization that was run by a Board of Directors that consisted of people who never put in one, full honest day’s work at the place they were directing.

So, I still don’t know if the last year of the Rat was good or not. It seems that it balanced out but the extremes in the ups and downs nearly killed me. I don’t know if I can take another year like that.